Married!

Sitting down a few nights ago, I knew this was going to be a difficult entry to write. I had no idea how to articulate a love like Ricky and Jillian's love. 

When I meet with a couple to photograph them for the first time, I always ask them how they met. A few days before Ricky and Jillian's wedding I sent a quick message to Jillian and asked her about their story. Jillian didn't just write a few lines back to me, she composed an entire essay. An essay about them, about their story, about their love. It was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever told me, and I couldn't help but share some bits and pieces with you.

"Ricky is the only person in my life that I actually remember seeing for the first time.  The time was insignificant. The place was random. But I can ever so clearly remember sitting on the staircase at Jillian Ruroede’s house at a party. In walked a tall, thin, boy, with his hoodie up, walking with some swag. That night ended in some innocent high school make-out session. And there were a few to follow over the years at random parties. I just remember always feeling so drawn to him, and connected in some way. Looking back, I truly feel that our connection was deeper than a high school hookup. And, although I didn’t know it at the time, we were destined to re-connect when the timing was perfect."

After Jillian went to college she didn't see Ricky for a while, but during one of the Christmas breaks while she was home he invited her to hang out. Specifically he "invited me to a private party via MySpace, and called it the Jillian and Ricky Reunion." This specific Christmas was the first after Ricky had lost his sister, Hannah. " I baked him Christmas cupcakes and went over to watch a movie with him. I remember, before I went to his apartment, my dad said to me, “Jillian, you can’t just go making men cupcakes! You’re mother made me cupcakes one time and I had to marry her!” 

After they hung out a few times Jillian moved to North Carolina as she had been previously planning. It was only a few days after the move however, that she moved right back home.. "I got an apartment in Greenport with my sister and had one of the best summers of my life.  SO many good memories with my sister." However, after the summer was over Ricky and Jillian's lives led in different directions. Ricky lived in Brooklyn now and Jillian was living in Pennsylvania for school. "We were on and off. For a long time it was painful. I missed him and I wanted him. But during these years I had to focus on school, and my dad was my main man. My dad took care of me. He called me everyday and supported me in every way. That’s what I needed to do at that time."

"On December 14, 2011, I received the worst phone call of my life. That my father had unexpectedly gone into cardiorespiratory failure was intubated in the ICU. I drove 7 hours at 90 mph to try get to him and tell him I loved him one last time. My father was my rock. He was my partner. It was me and him. Anything I did, he did with me. And it was at that time Ricky stepped in 100%. He helped me through that awful time and he’s been by my side ever since. I couldn’t imagine a more devoted and loving person. After making it through a few more tragic losses (the more recent loss of both her brother and sister) and crawling through the most academically challenging years of my life, Ricky, as a graduation gift, took me away from reality."

This is the part of the story where I began to know these two. I specifically remember when they began their "trip away from reality," because they began a blog along with it and I read that blog all of the time. I remember thinking, I want what they have here. I want the adventure, and the supportive inspiring partner to join me. To me, these two were awesome. They were embarking on a trip around the United States in a van that Ricky had transformed into a mini RV. 

They explored for four months, and then, "At Zion National Park in Utah, at the top of the Angel’s Landing hike, Ricky proposed. Not only did he ask me to marry him, but he also put my grandmother’s ring on my finger. She had passed away the summer before, my father’s mother. Ricky knew how much she meant to me, how much of a role model she was for me and how close we were. Just another moment where that man amazed me, to know me that well, to know that my grandmother’s ring would be more to me than any other diamond on the planet."

Jillian also told me in her story about the first night on their adventure. " I remember the first night we had in the van, camping in Lancaster PA, a little Amish town… It was just Ricky and me in the van. We built a fire. And it was just us. And I realized I never felt more home. I realized that no matter where I was or what I was doing, if I was with him, I was home." 

Before I began working on the final touches of the photographs from this wedding the other night, I turned on Ellen DeGeneres. She was giving a quote to someone who had recently gone through loss of a loved one. She said, "Someone once told me when your heart is broken, when you have cracks in your heart, it lets the light in, and the sun."

As Ricky and Jillian stood side by side at their wedding, amongst a crew of rock-solid friends  I couldn't help but see all the light shining in on them. 

Ricky and Jillian, you are by far one of the strongest, coolest, and most beautiful couples I have ever met. It was truly an honor to photograph your wedding.